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carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

when u try to caffeinate yourself and just end up increasing ur heart rate with no discernible changes in levels of exhaustion  

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crimesandkillers:

Ted Bundy’s blood.

crimesandkillers:

Ted Bundy’s blood.

daeneryus:

hot things to say during sex:

  • aw man i shot marvin in the face
  • silly caucasian girl likes to play with samurai swords
  • you got two jobs; kiss good, and make sure my hair don’t get wet
  • the d is silent
  • [faking Italian with a southern accent] bon jorno
  • BECAUSE IT’S SO MUCH FUN JAN

serendipitous-sonnet said: 

that road leads to getting fed to a plant

oh well ! i had it coming !! anyway ! im ! meek ! 

i should become a dentist